I am on day number 2 of a no-carb diet, day number 5 on a seemingly endless bout of PMS and day number oh it’s countless stuck in this brain of mine.
I get so nervous when I don’t hear back from Z in a timely manner, like he’s just gonna blink and decide he doesn’t want to see me or talk to me again. A big part of me is scared he’s going to figure me all out and realize I’m so not what he thought I was. When will I get to the point where I feel sure that he’ll be on the other end, even if I’m not calling?
I am hungry. I’m tired of feeling fat, but I’m also tired of my jeans cinching into places that were much slimmer a few months ago. I know diets don’t work, but crash diets do, and I am a big fan of instant gratification.
I hate myself today. I hate everything today. I want to go home, but I’ll hate that too. Some days, the only answer is sleep.
